20 going on 26…

Posted by: restlessecstasy  :  Category: Uncategorized

It’s been great during the past two years when everything seemed to be falling into place at a normal pace. Studies, Work, Relationships, Friends; everything was nearing perfection…

All of a sudden - SILENCE.

Someone had pressed the fast-forward button. All I could hear was the whirring sound of the tape of life. Suddenly, I was 26 years old and drafting out my future. I was finishing up my degree, other qualifications, planning my wedding, making plans to migrate. It was all even better than what it was before. Everything finally felt RIGHT. THIS is what I had been waiting for all my life…. and I was enjoying every minute of it. I thanked that someone who pressed the much needed button and helping me stumble upon the much awaited future.That someone was me.

All was good until I fell. - I fell out of love, out of uni, out of my mind.

That’s when everything came crashing down.

The familiar silence was followed by that eery whirring sound. This time, I was not so eager to hear it. Because I knew, it was time to go back. Go back in time to be that 20 year-old who had years to complete her education, years to even plan her future.

So here I am.
Back where I should’ve been all those years.

So what’s wrong then? It’s been a life changing experience has it not?
It sure was life-changing. I got so used to being 26 years old, that I’ve forgotten how to be 20 again…
It feels like my life has been shattered into a million pieces and I need to find each piece and make the puzzle fit to find myself again.

All of a sudden…. I feel very very lonely and I have 999,995 pieces more to go.

Buddhism betrayed in Sri Lanka?

Posted by: restlessecstasy  :  Category: Personal, Situation in Sri Lanka, futility of war

Yes, I’m a strong buddhist. I do not go to temple every day nor do I worship lord Buddha 2-3 times a day, but I believe in the buddhist way of life; I believe in karma : what goes around comes around. Is that what’s happening to this country? Is it all coming back to us now? Is that what’s happening to the entire world? Before expanding on to the entire world, I’d like to talk about what’s happening in our dear little country, Sri Lanka.

“Is there a place justifying violence and conflict in out religious traditions?”

This is something that has been in my mind since the day every one was all for the “all out war”. It’s been bothering me so darn much that I even picked it up as a project title for a course assignment at uni. *sigh*

Firstly, what is Buddhism?

It is, as we know, more of a philosophy than a religion per se, which focuses on personal spiritual development, a deep insight into the true nature of life and does not worship any gods or deities. According to Buddha’s teachings, the ethical and moral principles are governed by examining whether a certain action, connected to body or speech is likely to be harmful to one’s self or to others and thereby avoiding such harm. This is achieved foremost by cultivating good conduct by training in what is known as “The Five Precepts”. One should be aware of the fact that if one breeches any of it, it will result in an action that is known as “Karma” and one must examine how such a breech can be avoided in future.

Of these above mentioned five precepts, I’m going to stress on the first:

“To undertake training to avoid taking the life of beings”

This means that all beings, humans and non-humans alike, have a right to live their lives peacefully and this right should be respected.

Now let’s move on to Violence and its relation to buddhist ethics…

In modern use, “violence” is used broadly to describe negative human actions harmful to other living beings, living organisms, eco-systems and the environment. This is opposed in Buddhism as I initially confirmed by pointing out the first precept. Buddhism is a peaceful way of life and nothing in Buddhist scriptures gives any support to the use of violence as a means of resolving a conflict.

This is what Buddha feels about violence and conflict:

“Even if thieves carve you from limb to limb with a double-handed saw, if you make your mind hostile, you are not following my teaching.”- Kamcupamasutta, Majjima-Nikaya. 28-29

“Hatred will not cease by hatred, but by love alone.
This is the ancient law”
- “Yamaka Wagga”, Dhamma Pada

In times of war
Give rise in yourself to the mind of compassion
Helping living beings
Abandon the will to fight
Wherever there is a furious battle,
Use all your might
To keep both sides’ strength equal
And then step in to reconcile this conflict”

Given that Sri Lanka is the proud home of Theravada Buddhism and the fact that the majority of Sri Lankans are Buddhists (69.3%) , it is unimaginable how and why within the last two decades Sri Lanka has experienced such severe violent activities. True, the violent activities has no direct link to Buddhism, but the the occurrence of violence in Sri Lanka has challenged sustainability of Buddhism in Sri Lanka and is seemingly influencing the society. This unhealthy conditions have become such a routine to us that we are oblivious to the gory details of such incidents unless the numbers of the deaths are high and more damage has been done.

This is not only apparent in the ongoing war situation, but in the rise in crimes such as kidnappings, rapings and other anonymous murders etc. I believe that the roots of such violence in Sri Lanka are based on economic factors, linguistic issues, issues in equal opportunities and human rights, democratic representation in the political system and other issues which all reflect Buddha’s views on the link between “Thanha” (Greediness), “Aasha” (Necessitation) and Violence. The more you necessitate, the more your calm and composed frame of mind is impaired.

Do we need more than just Buddhist teachings? Yes, I believe that Sri Lanka is desperately in need of a “righteous leader”. Buddha states this, in a legendary outline (stated in the Cakkavattisihanada Sutta):

“In this way monks, money was not being given to the poor. Poverty flourished; because poverty flourished, theft flourished; because theft flourished, weaponry flourished; because weaponry flourished, murder flourished; because murder flourished, these beings’ vitality decreased.”

Because of this king’s inability to provide a means of wealth for the poor, poverty increased in that society and created a violent context. As a result, crimes increased. This can be taken as an example to compare the economic situation of Sri Lanka and to draw parallels to the increasing rates of violence.

Buddhism as stated earlier promotes a peaceful way of life. It speaks of Metta (Compassion), Ahimsa (Non-violence), Tolerance, Wisdom, The middle path and peace amongst all. But are any of these in any of our thoughts? We speak of wiping out the terrorists…..seems so simple doesn’t it? But it all involves breeching each and every concept that Buddha ever taught us; each and every good value that He tried so hard to instill in us. We speak of stopping a war…will we be able to stop the hatred people have against each other? Are we assured that another war will not be created? How are we to stop such a war when countries like England and USA could not fight off terrorism by means of armory?

I suppose we all like to hope…. for a better future. Ironic isn’t it?

Hypocrites and the degeneration of mankind

Posted by: restlessecstasy  :  Category: Personal

A man is not completely born until he is dead.
-BENJAMIN FRANKLIN

The sea was rough today. The waves were crashing onto children and their sandcastles, dogs with their play items, and not forgetting the tiny crabs and sea shells…

With it arrived the turtle.

The massive creature crept across the beach waddling through mounds of sand which were mahoosive obstacles for this tired creature. After a great struggle, he gave up. He gave up, and spread himself amongst the rubble on the beach.

Crows were circling around it, dogs were barking and trying to attack, but not a sign of movement from this glorious creature.

I watched it all from afar.

I felt proud to have seen this majestic being relaxing on the beach and not bothered by anything or anyone. I felt ashamed of how I am moved by what others think about me or what others do to intimidate me…and with this thought I approached it..

That was when I realized.

It was dying.
It couldn’t be strained anymore. Eyes were full of pain and sides streaked with blood. This was the moment where it all ended.. I couldn’t bear to watch. It was too painful for me to see a turtle who could to live for hundreds of years more was at its deathbed right in front of me.

A tear ran down my cheek.

And with that it had its last breath. It was over, nothing more could be done here.
The wounds were already infected and the stench was attracting the loathsome houseflies.

I turned around and faced the ocean

That was when I heard the men speak. “Ikmanata muge katta gaththa nung hari” (Quick, let’s get its shell) Why is everything in this world tainted with greed? Every moment is exploited and is regarded as an opportunity? Why not let the turtle be? Let it decay into the ocean where it was born and raised…Let it once again be a part of the circle of life? But no, cruelty in mankind would make them rip the creature apart, use the flesh as meat and shell as decorations.

What evil did that turtle do to deserve such a fate? Has it ever harmed any one of us? This is the irony of life as they call it. The best part is how we are able to live with it all and walk away as if nothing is erroneous.

I am the hypocrite who passed those men and walked towards to horizon.

Amore? Yep!!!

Posted by: restlessecstasy  :  Category: Personal

Just being a wee bit creative :]