*~Restless Ecstasy~*

I LOVE THE WORLD!! …says Discovery Channel ofcourse

It’s great to be optimistic innit?

I miss being optimistic…so I’m going to start being all happy and positive about everything once again!

So what’s good about these days is that:

1) It’s raining!!! That always means hot chocolate and loads of curling up under the sheets and reading novels (especially the soppy kind)

2) I’m working again! Wooo hooo! I only feel wholesome when Im working…. (Does that mean I’m a workaholic???? o_O)

3) I’m taking things a bit easy…. which is a good thing and maybe a bit bad as well cuz I slack when I take things easy…

4) I have a whole one and a half months for exams and I’ve started to study!! It’s always been the last minute cramming sessions and this is deffo a new improvement!!

5) I’m easier to please now…. my high expectations have disappeared…kazam! vamoosh!

6) I’m dating again and it feels a lot better. (Ok, maybe it’s more than just dating.. *blush*)

7) I’ve grown even more close to my sis and mom. We are like the gilmore girls now plus one more sibling. (Maybe convert Lane into a sibling??)

8 ) I’ve embraced the true meaning of Buddhism thanks to a certain someone. I’ve experienced so much in life and it’s time to mellow down a bit.

9) I’m finally going to be 21 in two weeks. I’m prolly the last one out of all my friends… (Feels all nangi-fied)

10) I’m an emotional wreck, I’m passionate about my beliefs and I stand up for what I think is right, I’m a big hyperactive ball of happiness and I also resemble a wabbit (a cute one at that), I’m irrational, crazy, happy-go-lucky, a person who loves to love and be loved And I’m so goddamn happy to be me!

It’s been great during the past two years when everything seemed to be falling into place at a normal pace. Studies, Work, Relationships, Friends; everything was nearing perfection…

All of a sudden - SILENCE.

Someone had pressed the fast-forward button. All I could hear was the whirring sound of the tape of life. Suddenly, I was 26 years old and drafting out my future. I was finishing up my degree, other qualifications, planning my wedding, making plans to migrate. It was all even better than what it was before. Everything finally felt RIGHT. THIS is what I had been waiting for all my life…. and I was enjoying every minute of it. I thanked that someone who pressed the much needed button and helping me stumble upon the much awaited future.That someone was me.

All was good until I fell. - I fell out of love, out of uni, out of my mind.

That’s when everything came crashing down.

The familiar silence was followed by that eery whirring sound. This time, I was not so eager to hear it. Because I knew, it was time to go back. Go back in time to be that 20 year-old who had years to complete her education, years to even plan her future.

So here I am.
Back where I should’ve been all those years.

So what’s wrong then? It’s been a life changing experience has it not?
It sure was life-changing. I got so used to being 26 years old, that I’ve forgotten how to be 20 again…
It feels like my life has been shattered into a million pieces and I need to find each piece and make the puzzle fit to find myself again.

All of a sudden…. I feel very very lonely and I have 999,995 pieces more to go.